Posted 18 October 2016 by Sal
Being Human Here and Now
At times during the day when I still believe I am a person or have a personality and I get wrapped up in that, I know it doesn't mean I am not aware, but, you seem to be taking that further and saying that you don't believe in a self ever.
Yes, you are always aware, even in deep sleep, although you are not consciously aware, or don't remember it. You know you are aware in deep sleep because when the alarm goes off you wake up. So you must be aware of the alarm. But in the waking state, which is the state in which we can inquire, you are always consciously aware, usually of some object or another—an experience, thoughts, emotions, sounds, sensations, etc. Or as we do here, we become consciously aware of nothing in particular, simply aware knowing itself, with all of the objects currently appearing here and now included.
So then you say that I go further to say that there is no self. Let's say some thoughts are appearing in your mind now, and you are aware of those thoughts, why do you take that one thought that is appearing to indicate an entire self? Why isn't it just one thought that is appearing in the moment?
I guess there is not a good reason for it.
There is only now, right? There is no past hidden somewhere. So if there is only now and there is no past then where is the self, this story character created with its background and history and whatever psychological things that this life seems to have put you through, where is any of that stuff, that you seem to remember and to hold on to as a self, me, where is it now?
It doesn't exist.
Right. So that is why I say there is no self actually. There is only the belief that the amalgamation of thoughts and ideas that appear in the brain refer to something in so-called time is a self called, (your name here). You add a continuity of thought that is not in fact so. There is only one thought now. But we see that here there is only now and that story doesn't exist. It is a myth, it is not true. Is that clear or am I just making it up?
No, I get that. What happens to me sometimes is that I will get wrapped up thinking I am a person, at the same time knowing that it is just a fleeting appearance, so I feel that it is not a problem that I am a person. But you are saying that you never think of yourself as a person.
Ah ok, I see. I never said I don't think of myself as a person. I am a person. I am a human being here and now. But a human being here and now doesn't have to have anything to do with the story of self that is a myth. The character, Salvadore, his whole history, his pathology, his future of hopes and aspirations, that is clearly not an existent fact, is it?
Not without using your mind.
I will go a step further than that. It is in truth not, at all. You base your belief that there is a person on some very insubstantial and questionably accurately remembered events in this life, that are not present now. You put it together now, into a life-sized character, in your mind and then believe that that means there is a self, and that is who you are. And I simply say that that character it is not real, or actual. It is mythical. But that doesn't mean that here and now I am not a human being, now. A human being it is called, isn't it? It is not called a human self-ing. I am here now, being, human. With no history. That is just being honest. And all we are really doing here is being honest. And if I am very honest and truthful, I have to say I have no history. If I want to lie and tell a tale of a mythical character named Salvadore then I can say I have a history. So if you are here feeling like a human being then good, because you are one. But if you are here reviewing your very sketchy past story, your "poor me" or "great me" story, and going into descriptions of a character, then you are really just believing a myth that is not true—if you are honest.
I think where maybe it was a bit of an issue, I was thinking there were two levels of knowing, like knowing truthfully what is here right now, and then more like thinking about things that are more common, past, etc.
You could say that, sure. One way to see, the way we are seeing here, which is the same for all of us, we all can see that there is no difference between any of us, as we do on a holiday. Let's have one now.
Relax the focus of attention
Allow attention to be open and free
There is only now.
I know I am, here and now.
Where is this self now?
So yes, that is one way to see. I say it is the essential truth of who you are. The other way is to buy into the story, the myth of self and by buying into it, suffer along with it.