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On Seeking

Someone recently wrote to me to ask my view on seeking. He also said that as far as liberation goes, there are some people he considers ‘authorities’ on the subject, he mentioned Ramana and Adi Da. Here is my reply to him.

Here is my opinion and view on seeking. The end of seeking means the end of looking in all of those books for some authority to tell me about my own experience. Those books are over for me, that buddha is dead. The end of seeking means the end of the idea that I lack something and Ramana or Adi Da, or anyone else, has it. The end of seeking means the end of needing some kind of new state or experience that is extraordinary. That desire or need, in itself, is bondage. I had many incredible mystical experiences, they mean nothing to me now.

The end of seeking is the end of philosophizing. It is the end of trying to achieve, attain or understand something about life or enlightenment through the mind, by reading, watching, etc. Philosophy and mental understanding is not freedom.

The end of seeking is the end of endless becoming. Here and now, as I am, ordinary consciousness, Sat Chit Ananda, is freedom.

It is not Ramana, it is not Adi Da, and if I am honest I must say I have no idea what their experience of consciousness is. Ramana and Adi Da are only thoughts, in my own mind, they are not truth. And if I am even more honest I must say that those thoughts are incomplete and false—filtered by desire, placing these people on an impossibly high pedestal and feelings of lack and unworthiness, all of which is ego—they do not touch truth.

On the other hand, I am truth. As long as one looks to anyone else as an authority, one compares and finds oneself in some way lacking. I am not lacking.

I used to read a lot of spiritual books as well, many years ago. Freedom is not in any of them. In fact, I would say the opposite is true. To continuously read those books will keep one comparing one's current experience with some conceptual ideal, finding oneself lacking and propagating seeking forever. In my opinion and experience, a real, living teacher, for almost everyone, is needed. A real teacher will chop your head off. The head is all of those millions of spiritual concepts that are never ending and never resolving, gleaned from reading spiritual books and from other cultural, religious and societal samskaras (mental impressions). The head is the belief that someone else is an authority on you. And because of all of the reading, the mind believes it is lacking something and so naturally continues seeking, usually forever. But you are not lacking and you are not seeking. It is only mind that appears to be seeking.

I don't care to attain anything because of any perceived lack. I don't compare myself with anyone. So then, what is there to seek? What more can I want or need?

Sat Chit Ananda


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